i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
