Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
