I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
