I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
