Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I need a beard to bite.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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