I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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