Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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