Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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