i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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