How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
