I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
