I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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