They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
