I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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