I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
