i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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