Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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