Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
