dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
