halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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