Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
