Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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