She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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