I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize