I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
