We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
