i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
