I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
