is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
