i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
