Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
