Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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