also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
