Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
