a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Houston, we have a blender
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have aggressive nipples.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
