We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Don't EVER smell your tampon
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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