sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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