If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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