you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
