By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm like, not good at living.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
