Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
