Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
