dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
