Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
