she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i now understand why vodka
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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