people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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