Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she looked like the before picture.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
