This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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