Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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