I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
