Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
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