Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
