Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sorry about my life...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
