but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize