no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I currently don't understand fingers.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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