Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
