I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Randomize
