I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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