Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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