I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
